I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s ever wrestled with the question, does God have someone for me? Hear this, if you have a desire for marriage, I truly believe that it’s something God has placed in you for a reason. If you weren’t meant to marry, that desire wouldn’t burn within you. God is not a mean god. So, yes, God has someone for you! But what are we to do until we meet the person we are to marry? Well, we prepare. Preparation is an external and internal process.
One of the first things I had to work on was becoming emotionally stable. Scripture tells us that a double-minded man is unstable in ALL his ways (James 1:8). And that was true for me. The first relationship I was in damaged me and I made every man I dated after that pay for it. I thought that real power was in getting even, in making them hurt like I was hurt. Then one day a church mother told me, “it takes power not to do to others what has been done to you. The rain falls on the just and the unjust. It takes a strong woman to hold her composure.” Her words pierced my heart and changed me forever. (Side note: ladies, get around some church mothers! They are wise! They don’t always tell you what you want to hear, but they’ll tell you what you NEED to hear.) It was fear that that drove me into relationships too soon, and what kept me in bad relationships too long. I was the problem. I needed to heal.
I was very immature and the emotions of deep like, love, infatuation, and strong attraction began to cloud my judgment and impair my romantic vision. I lost sight of my purpose and traded my identity in relationships just for “security.”
Once God dealt with me and completely healed me, I realized that it was now time to start preparing to be a wife. Proverbs 18:22 states that He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. Ladies, I know we hear this all the time and most point out “He who finds a wife” which means we are not to be looking for him, which is very true; however, the part I want to emphasize is he who finds a WIFE, not a side chick. (Side note: ladies, God is NOT going to send you someone else’s husband. Leave that married man ALONE!) Not a special friend with benefits. Not someone he can call when he’s in town. Not someone he can chill with when he’s bored. Not someone who wants to keep you a secret. A WIFE!
We have to use this time to prepare for the future. I’ve learned to be patient and spend this time in getting closer to God. To get to know me. To read. Spend time with my closest friends and family. To try new things. To volunteer in my community. Get more involved at church. Travel. Workout. Get a degree. It’s imperative you stay busy! Idle moments are when we start getting into trouble.
Also, take this time to pray for your future husband. Praying for the person you are going to marry is one of the most important things you can do for them during your season of singleness.
Most importantly, don’t allow anger, bitterness, or jealousy overtake or control you. Wait on God. The reason so many people miss out on their blessing is because they decide to settle for a microwave dinner instead of waiting for the feast God has for them. The best things take time. It’s important to remember that God is not only preparing your future husband but He is preparing you as well and when it comes time, He will bring you together.
Determine to be your most beautiful self as you go after God. You deserve what God has for you. Know that He won’t short-change you. Till then, wake, pray, slay 😉
Prepare every person that has taken the time to read this post to be a good wife/husband. Cultivate our heart, that we may become all that you have called us to be. Strengthen and mold us into the spouse You’ve purposed for us to be. Prepare us for all that is to come. Let each step we take be taken in favor and grace. Help us dwell and remain in love. If we are ever offended, give us the strength to let any and every offense slide. Let us not cling to pain, and instead to Your love. Help us to love our future husband/wife through pain and give us strength to forgive. Bless our future spouse financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally. In Jesus name, AMEN!